Things I must not do in Prydon Academy
by Dragonde
Summary: Inspired by the Hogwarts videos.


Things I must not do in Prydon Academy  
1. I shall not add the Star Wars films to the Panoptican Archives.  
2 After doing so, I shall not claim that Rassilon was really Qui-Gon Jinn in disguise.  
3. I shall not add entries on all 495 Pokemon to school textbooks on Gallifreyan wildlife.  
4. When on a school trip to the mountains of Solace and Solitude, I shall not teach my classmates the Ancient and Sacred Earth Tradition of snowball-throwing.  
5. I shall not throw one of said snowballs at Borusa's head, not matter how tempting it may be  
6. After throwing said snowball at Borusa's head, I shall not blame our assistant teacher Theta Sigma.  
7. I shall not put forward Runcible as a candidate for the Presidency.  
9. I shall not reprogram the Academy computers to play various Anime episodes at random intervals.  
10. I shall not reveal to the Time Lords that their very unpopular theory that their reality was in fact created by the 21st century humanity of another universe is actually true.  
11. I shall not sing the Doctor Who theme tune when meant to be singing the Gallifreyan National Anthem.

12. When reading Gallifreyan nursery rhymes to the Time Tots, I will not make puns out of Earth ones e.g. ' Ba Ba Borusa'

13. I will try not to deliberately knock my other classmates out with my oversized headress during ceremonies

14. When learning of the history of The Vardans, I will try not to snigger at the fact they are made out of tin foil

15. I will not reprogramme The Matrix to pretend that I would rather be in an episode of Blake's 7

16. I will not poke The Eye of Harmony with a stick

17. I will not use a Dalek to unblock the sink  
18. K9 is not the second coming of Jesus, and under no circumstances am I to insinuate such  
19. I will not ask Borusa why he is dressed like a Patrexian  
20. I will not re-wire the chameleon circuits of any TARDIS to make it look like a 1980s Delorean, not matter how fucking epic that would be.  
21. On that note, a TARDIS is powered by the Eye of Harmony, and not a Flux Capacitator  
22. I will not attatch to Lord President Rassilon a Perception filter that makes hims appear as George Bush, David Cameron, Gordon Brown, or any other Earth politician.  
23. I will not use my Martial Arts skills against the Chancellory Guard. Even though they would be fairly easy to defeat, they still outnumber me several thousand to one.  
24. I will not beat up, waterbomb, stinkbomb, kick in the nuts, nuke, torture, electrocute, throw food at or otherwise harass Castellan Kelner, no matter how much he deserves it.  
25. Lord President Rassilon did not buy his Glove of Doom from a Gadgetron vendor.  
26. Lord President Rassilon does not appreciate being compared to Optimus Prime  
27. Or Megatron  
28. He is not involved in negotiations with the above mentioned.  
29. Captain Andred does not want a pink Care-Bear for his birthday.  
30. Or a bunny, or a frog, or any other form of stuffed animal.  
31. Not even a stuffed Pikachu.  
32. Neither does he want want a Master Chief action figure. (Probably)  
33. Castellan Spandrell is not a closet disney fan.  
34. I will not make fun of Chancellor Goth's name  
35. Or the fact that he wears bright orange.  
36. Reprogramming the communications channels to constantly repeat the word "Exterminate" whilst also reprogramming traffic control's computers to make it appear as if the Transduction Barrier is down is an extremely tasteless joke.  
37. There is a Sash of Rassilon, a Rod of Rassilon, and a Key of Rassilon. There is not, nor ever had been, an egg whisk, coffee maker, or any other kitchen utensil of Rassilon, and I am not to insist to any President that it is their duty to find such.  
38. I will not make vulgar jokes about the Rod of Rassilon during extremely solemn ceremonies.  
39. During my initiation, I will not throw a teaspoon into the Untempered Schism just to see what happens.  
40. When Borusa orders me to restrain my propensity for vulgar facetiousness, I will not imitate him in an extremely childish way.  
41. I will not tell the Master that his beard is camp whilst he has a device capable of universal annihilation.  
42. Borusa's proper title is "Cardinal" not "Your Honour"  
43. I will show Borusa proper respect, because to do otherwise is suicidal.  
45. I will not beg Lord Theta Sigma to teach me to swear in Old High Gallifreyan  
46. And then use such language on Borusa.  
47. And then feign innocence.  
48. Whenever Borusa mentions his past as a jurist, I will not play the "Cornered" them from Phoenix Wright.  
49. I will not try to bribe any Time Lords into playing the Ace Attorney series.  
50. Borusa is not the prosecution, and I am not Phoenix Wright.  
51. Thus it is entirely unnecessary to yell "TAKE THAT!" whenever I answer a question in class.  
52. I will not tell Lord President Rassilon to "Say it, not spray it."  
53. Nor will I hum the James Bond theme tune when he is around.  
54. Or introduce him as "Rassilon, President Rassilon."  
55. Or in fact make any reference to Timothy Dalton's acting career whatsoever.  
56. I am not to ask Borusa about Vogon politics.  
57. I am not to give a lecture on the importance of towels.

58. When Romana takes over as President from Borusa I will fight the urge to call her 'Fred'

59. I am not to attempt to build Marvin. Not ever.

**A Friend of mine made 12-to 16. This was created by Dragonde's editor. Dragonde has nothing to do with it.**


End file.
